Musing No. 3

We are all faced with it every day...this new insidious thing that started out as something to be celebrated and cherished but along the way has morphed into a monster who's name is CHOICE!

I've been sitting at my desk, head crammed to capacity trying to decide out of all the proposals I have received so far for provision of additional insurance cover, which one to choose. And it's a problem every person of every age faces daily.

From the 6-year-old at the ice cream counter who has to choose from chocolate-chip, chocolate-ripple, chocolate-fudge or chocolate chunks (and he hasn't even reached the selection of toppings)! To the teen girl who's shopping for her prom and has to figure what trend to opt for - will it be the mini, the A-line, the asymmetric, the calf-length or the floor length dress? To the mother who has to figure out who among all the pediatrician she has received recommendations to take her newborn. To the director of operations on which pension scheme best suits the size of the company and the needs of the staff, to the CEO on which mergers to consider and which acquisitions to side step! I could go on and on...because I have so many example to choose from...(pun intended).

So how did something that started out as the ideal, something that at its most basic can be viewed as a basic human right - the right to choice - turn into something that can be truly paralyzing? Why has our society evolved to a point that there needs to be 30 brands of bottled water to choose from?

For me, choice has become a monster because of this simple fact. You cannot, no matter how much thought you put into it, escape the fear that whatever you choose, the other option would have been better. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? That nagging feeling, that incessant suspicion that maybe you could have chosen a little better.

And the real rub of the whole deal? The more time it takes for you to make a choice, the more frustrated it makes you feel and born out of that frustration is the likelihood that you'll make the wrong decision! One of the greater paradox of our time I'd say.

And if you are the perpetrator of this crime, the person plaguing us with these ridiculous choices, it's amazing to realize that people are less likely to buy something if you have so many different variations of it! The fewer the assortment the more likely someone will see something they like and buy it without further thought! (I suspect that's the reason some flavors of Fanta are just a memory now). I'm not joking- do the research!

So here's the musing, don't get so caught up in trying to get as many (if not all) possible options available under the sun. That freedom and sense of empowerment you think you'll be getting, it may just be taken away from you with the amount of energy it'll take you to decide!

What's your take?

Musing No. 2

"Will you make it?"

Forget about Generation X, Y or Z, we are a fully fledged Generation “A” - for Anxious!

Let me explain …

When I first heard of the quarter-life crisis I think I did a pretty decent impression of a twelve-year-old with some fancy eye rolling and an “Oh, please!”.

Quarter-life crisis?! Surely the need to classify everything and give a medical term to every single sensation had reached a new peak. A midlife crisis I could wrap my head around but this new phenomenon, well it just seemed like plain old hogwash.

But just like you cannot unring a bell, I couldn't forget or shake this new unsettling idea. And slowly I started to see it everywhere. Worse still, I noticed that I was displaying symptoms of it too. People in their twenties, spurred on by the rising generation of successful “under 30s”, had an unprecedented need to make it, and to make it now!

You need to have a dazzling career that is taking you places by the time you are 26 if not, you best be nurturing some innovative and lucrative entrepreneurial ideas that will make you the next big thing. And heavens forbid if you aren't working on finishing up your academic credentials by now. Did I mention that you have to be absolutely in the know with everything of importance that is happening this side of the sun (the other side too as a matter of fact) and be in some remarkable way be contributing to the betterment of mankind in general. Please also don’t forget to find the super successful partner to have the recommended number of equally brilliant kids by the time you are thirty ladies! Why? Because everyone else is doing it. It’s Greatness or Bust! Go big or go home.

Feel free to roll your eyes at that particular line of logic, I did too.

Even with that said, my brain just cringed a little as I listed all the above because it was mentally tallying my achievements to date (all strongholds accounted for) and ranking me somewhere on this new scale of achievement.

How much further do I need to go before I hit the big 3-0 and have to justify not having achieved my lifetime goals? I need to have that exciting job, a more than decent income, a cozy home and car and a fulfilling relationship.

But what happens when I don't have it all figured out. What happens when we place all this pressure on ourselves?

Really, I’m actually asking? I want to know what happens to our generation that is so anxious to make it. What happens when we don’t have everything figured out by the time we are 27? Are we failing?

Musing No. 1

"carry our brollies..."

I've never been spoken to like that. I have never been told what I have or have not done in such a way that I could practically hear the school bell ring and see myself racing up the stairs so I wouldn't be in trouble.

I’m shocked, slightly nauseated and frankly scared.

Why scared? Well, scared because I wonder if what he wrote is actually true, scared that I have ended up looking like a fool which I do truly fear and scared that I’ll end up messing up the best thing that may have ever happened to me.

It’s strange; we all want this epic kind of love, the heart racing, soul shaking kind of love that we have never experienced before. But we never think to try and prepare ourselves, to do the research I suppose so that we actually know when we find it.

Then when we have something that’s new, that may or may not be it, we aren't sure what to do because it’s so unfamiliar. Plus, no one ever told us whether it would be happiness and bliss from the start or whether we should brace ourselves and carry our brollies ‘cause the shit would hit the fan more than once!

So you wind up in the unfamiliar and because you don’t know whether this is your one and only shot at forever or whether it’s just a new strain of frog that the universe in its sense of humor has sent your way, you tether on the edge, not sure whether to just jump right in and weather the ups and downs or whether to just pack up and leave and keep waiting for that prince to finally show up.

So as I stare at my screen, dumbstruck at the nerve the man had to send me such a scathing email, I don’t know what to do.

Do I pack up my heart and exit the emotional train at the next stop or do I straighten my spine, crack a few knuckles and get ready to wade in further into this mucking thing that may be true love?