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| "Will you make it?" |
Let me explain …
When I first heard of the quarter-life crisis I think I did a pretty decent impression of a twelve-year-old with some fancy eye rolling and an “Oh, please!”.
Quarter-life crisis?! Surely the need to classify everything and give a medical term to every single sensation had reached a new peak. A midlife crisis I could wrap my head around but this new phenomenon, well it just seemed like plain old hogwash.
But just like you cannot unring a bell, I couldn't forget or shake this new unsettling idea. And slowly I started to see it everywhere. Worse still, I noticed that I was displaying symptoms of it too. People in their twenties, spurred on by the rising generation of successful “under 30s”, had an unprecedented need to make it, and to make it now!
You need to have a dazzling career that is taking you places by the time you are 26 if not, you best be nurturing some innovative and lucrative entrepreneurial ideas that will make you the next big thing. And heavens forbid if you aren't working on finishing up your academic credentials by now. Did I mention that you have to be absolutely in the know with everything of importance that is happening this side of the sun (the other side too as a matter of fact) and be in some remarkable way be contributing to the betterment of mankind in general. Please also don’t forget to find the super successful partner to have the recommended number of equally brilliant kids by the time you are thirty ladies! Why? Because everyone else is doing it. It’s Greatness or Bust! Go big or go home.
Feel free to roll your eyes at that particular line of logic, I did too.
Even with that said, my brain just cringed a little as I listed all the above because it was mentally tallying my achievements to date (all strongholds accounted for) and ranking me somewhere on this new scale of achievement.
You need to have a dazzling career that is taking you places by the time you are 26 if not, you best be nurturing some innovative and lucrative entrepreneurial ideas that will make you the next big thing. And heavens forbid if you aren't working on finishing up your academic credentials by now. Did I mention that you have to be absolutely in the know with everything of importance that is happening this side of the sun (the other side too as a matter of fact) and be in some remarkable way be contributing to the betterment of mankind in general. Please also don’t forget to find the super successful partner to have the recommended number of equally brilliant kids by the time you are thirty ladies! Why? Because everyone else is doing it. It’s Greatness or Bust! Go big or go home.
Feel free to roll your eyes at that particular line of logic, I did too.
Even with that said, my brain just cringed a little as I listed all the above because it was mentally tallying my achievements to date (all strongholds accounted for) and ranking me somewhere on this new scale of achievement.
How much further do I need to go before I hit the big 3-0 and have to justify not having achieved my lifetime goals? I need to have that exciting job, a more than decent income, a cozy home and car and a fulfilling relationship.
But what happens when I don't have it all figured out. What happens when we place all this pressure on ourselves?
Really, I’m actually asking? I want to know what happens to our generation that is so anxious to make it. What happens when we don’t have everything figured out by the time we are 27? Are we failing?
But what happens when I don't have it all figured out. What happens when we place all this pressure on ourselves?
Really, I’m actually asking? I want to know what happens to our generation that is so anxious to make it. What happens when we don’t have everything figured out by the time we are 27? Are we failing?
It is a very interesting observation and a very true one. When we leave college we are on fire, full of very high expectations that we will find a great job with a huge salary. Some of our peers make it. They actually land this success we are looking for immediately but others don't. But i wonder,why do we want to be rich so quickly? I think we should all stop and evaluate ourselves. We are gifted differently and God has designed for each of us a purpose and sometimes it can take you a year to accomplish your dreams but sometimes it can take you 10 years. Bottom line for me, we should stop comparing ourselves to others. Be the best you can be now and live your best life every day, follow your passion and trust God and you will succeed.
ReplyDelete"Be the best you can be now and live your best life every day" spot on!! I love that, I think I'll make it my mantra:)
DeleteThanks for sharing your take - we could all do with such an honest and clear view as we follow our passion and stop putting undue pressure on ourselves. A year, ten years, as long as we are headed in the right direction (our own direction) we are on course...
Damaris and Ayodeji, thanks for your thoughts. I believe the pressure to be, to fit in, to get a Masters degree and yes, that elusive PERFECT RELATIONSHIP is a function of centralized thinking. Most of us never ever at one point reflected on who they are, what the world is all about and what they want to be with it.
ReplyDeleteWe just found the car moving and have no idea why we never stopped to ask why that bus, why that direction and what other directions are possible.
The apparent need to be on the 'safe side' makes it such a poor rat race.
When we will appreciate that nothing is pre-designed and nothing is absolute, maybe we will start to live. Some will choose the farms and avoid the hustle of the urban, some will chose Music over Political Science :) ,some mathematics, some never getting married :) , others poetry. Bottom line: BE ONE WITH NATURE.
Thanks for your sharing your take Mose.
DeleteI've never looked at peer pressure in that way before; finding yourself on a bus and not asking why that particular bus and do you want to go where it's going.
I think unknowingly, some of us buy into the idea that since this is what everyone is striving for (excellence, now!) then we better do the same lest we get left behind.
Maybe we need to be left behind...on those farms, in that math or that poetry. It takes all sorts to make the world after all.
I appreciate your unique perspective :)